Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he was CRYING into my vagina
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
