My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
