READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
