He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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