Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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