I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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