Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
