Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
