ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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