So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
