I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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