What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
