; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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