if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he fucked my hip out of place.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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