Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
