How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
