I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
