The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Randomize
