Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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