Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
