first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
