Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
