I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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