How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
