Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
this is an emotional support booty call
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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