I wannas sexs uuuuu
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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