Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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