This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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