just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
