it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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