she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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