i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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