glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
