I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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