I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
