Your dad touched me again.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
