cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
