she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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