It's Friday. Sex?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Randomize
