I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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