okay pat passed out under dana's car
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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