So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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