I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
this is an emotional support booty call
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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