One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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