Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
