She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
