Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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