So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
