so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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