Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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