This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
