He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i was born a porn star she said
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
